Meditation

I am
are they just words that flow
out of a body or
Before they flow
there has to be a thought,
a thought that always existed in thoughts

Hence what flows out
is always
this what I say
I am that
is different from what is
before the thoughts of I am
There has to be beginning of knowing
Where the pleasant memories
or otherwise with day to day living
that is observed.

There in that sorrow
a feeling of ending is born

That I am that flows out is
in the framework of time
and hence becoming a product of the object
from existence,
Existence by itself requires no change,
but concepts born through
the I am that change all the time

All I want to know is
why is the I am
which is always free of
all problems
cannot live without one?

Saying born out of thinking
different from
Talks born from energy pure

Hunger when not satisfied burns you out.

Expanding My Fixations

Went about my business
looking for a thought
as usual came back with thoughts
and that they belong to me

Realized I could never get to
know a thought
And found myself with loads of
thoughts and a thinker me

My imaginations bonded
an imaginary entity
and hence I found myself going
in and out of convictions
expanding my
fixations
of being somebody and not me
with divisions of me and mine.

Stories within stories
like when
sugar on my tongue
tasted good and
after I experienced the sweetness,
I wanted more and more
In extremes

More and more insights
changed impressions and
inspirations came about
and poems were composed

a rationality of disharmony
that opened a window
when the sugar was experienced

AT the end of the road, I always find Me.
Though the road by itself has no beginning or an end,
it is me who is my only teacher
Would I call it death?

What I find from my own experience is
the truth for me now and
that then
could be different from yesterday
I have to depend on past to solve
any problems that I face now
Past then always stay and has a
purpose to come to
conclusions now

The bottom line is
that investigations cannot happen
without the past in play.

It looked like an oasis
Under a blue sky
The air had a perfume
Of lush green grass

The world inside was
never different from one
outside
I walked in both in
silence and in restlessness
both being concepts
born in me

(Is a truth so
powerful that it risks
having our existence taken away
from us?)

My dreams are blasphemous
I never learnt this anywhere
This matures
In the background of I am

The dimensions have to occur in me
Through
Perceptions though
I see a history in me
I see a definition in me
That is my conditioning
That is me
All that I will ever see
I see that me
that is a dimension too

I see all play
of all dimensions
Conscious of it
without a name
Looking at a name
the family, the inheritance, the culture,
in an objective sense
of magnificence
A relationship that I have had
born through memories.

An act a day
outside habit
keeps the sorrow away

Take time to do
stay with a dance
that flows from heart
once a day

A Permanent Presence

Everytime I write, a new me is born. That brings in a thud.
That thud is a byproduct of learning. All dimensions are such byproducts.
Head banging thud.
Why?
My presence was always permanent.
What remains or goes is associations. Hence Sprouting is root concept.
That sprouting is happening, I am watching that, that is the happening.
Doesn't this happening establish the consciousness as an axiom? This question needs no answer or talking.
The individual happens only after. Identification is the part of that.
Find me a Raj inside of Raj or outside of it? This is not intuitive, it is reducible from what is happening.
First nothing then plenty and only then infinite. Apply.

Us spendng an entire lifetime
searching choosing a comfortable
BED
TO SLEEP
why?

Some Day

Before the question
I was born
yes, before the answers.

A field now in dynamics
I observing all the degrees
The powers that how one
should live,
"I have an ace up my
sleeve"
is what all teachers call.

A road twists to it's
fullness
waits for me to leave me home
that road
not bothering of me and
my attitude
which shouts I don't trust me,
I don't trust life.

Should I let go of
this idea of stop and test
this pretension of knowing
that there is a power waiting
to be unleashed,
That it is simple to lie to me,
willingly I do that
I drive me not to relax
As I trust there is
no free lunch.

After the question,
I was dead,
yes, before the answer came.

A Quick Look At My Life

A time came
when I felt no
one understood me
I was called a young fella
There were advices that came in fast
and mentors walked my earth
freely
I was inspired to make
me difficult
to them
Never careful, no discipline
I was super-imposing
a convenient predetermined
answer
"you did it too, or how would you know"

Then a time came where I
became a seeker and asked
this bought responsibility
and a seriousness
and answers that kept changing
with life that kept teaching me
I fell
fell bad
then got up, limped
and then walked

Externally our lives
are the extensions of what
we do and want to do
I related to the world with
the action I created
Sometimes in contradiction
other times in a dichotomy
Then at times I was
Sure of me and then at other
pondering over my mistakes

If you think I was
singing my song
think again
for you lived exactly the same
to rest in wisdom

Phew! what a world
In IPods and launches
Of IPads
Twitter and blogs
Training a lifestyle
In web of 3.0
A status on my fb
Updating me and what
I have to do
Can't even depend on my
memory
I have flash drives
And hard drives

Working on technology
Or
It working on a ghost
called me
Can you now plug the
TV on
I need to take my mind on
wander
I'm piling up on me
This work
For which I created
my world of giga & mega

I don't want to look back on my life, but if I do, I see no interruptions in my life, if not then why would it then be in my tomorrows. Do I still want to look either ways?

Accelerate the movement of the body, I see what I put out is what comes in. Energy reminds me of my pleasure of walking lighter.

If I have everything that I needed to live this life out and if this was taught to me by a leaf, yes a just a leaf that shouts change is the only constant. I see that change in timelessness. That "If" changes to certainty.

If I use this so called "I" as consciousness alone. As water finds it's own level, so would this "I" too. I wouldn't want this to remain just a belief. I find the "I" in abundance.