My Memory

It gives me moments
Takes me on
I paint it
Talk to it
Ask it to shut up
Learn skills to sharpen it
Look up to it
Make love to it
Write about it
Share it
I give up on it
Sedate it
Sometimes wish for a wipe out
But I guess the MEMORY has a journey of it's own
I fool around & call it MY MEMORY
It is mine & yet....
Look at me
Tell me what happened?
And who can answer this....


The gaps are filled in with time, Always.

The Child Song

Noises and more noises
Of birds and flights
Of honey and flowers

What they were today
Is what they will be today

Noises and more noises
Of a child running in circles
Of a man asking about his I

What they were today
Is what they will be today

Noises and more noises
Of the fun of finding out
Of the wings old and new

What they were today
Is what they will be today

Noises and more noises
Of the clock that ticked
Of coffee and smokes

What they were today
Is what they will be today

Noises and more noises
Of my name and that stranger who left me tonight
Of about things that I wanted to share with you

What they were today
Is what they will be today

Noises and more noises
Of the desires of an empty stool by the bar
Of where to go for the real blacks and real whites

What they were today
Is what they will be today

How do you explain time?
Where I stop
And where do I advance to

Seeing is in time

Seeing is always in time
What brought me here and was
I just in time

Am I sleeping
or
Am I awake
Seeing it is real
The dream or the proof of dream

Woke up and
Walked out

Pavements of broken stones
Not a stone out of place
Carrying canes and times

Death - a perception
An eclipse - of love

Somehow
However funny this sounds
When life is done with a body
It blows it up

isn't it always
that it's the action
which tells the story

I am in now

The good guys
The bad apples
and a police man inside all of them
captured by us brilliantly

Joy

Mitti ko mutt kahein - sut hi ko putt kahein,

Kanchan ko bhukan, katari loha bhakk hai,

Peetar ko zhari kahein - bawarien khalari kahein,

Neer ko tarang kahein - kasiin thari aankh hain,

Baai ko bhagura kahein - tej ko masura kahein,

Kat hi ho mutt kahein, naam do rakh hein,

Tesehi aap ish hi ko jeev kahein,

Aap toh behosh rahein, ish pare bakh hein.

Testify me
In a feeling
In memory

Understanding conditioning
and the
Totality of all
As in a process
Of truths and transformations
of
How an I governs

Source and the recognition
Who knew this
The mystics
And the biologists
And was it
As knowledge or as a fact



Why do I maintain
this separation all
the time.

With even things around.....

At all times?

ANYWHERE

The cloud had no path
No path
It was yet in a certain job
It had to evolve
By default

A change took place
To come
In a mortal cloud
It had a life
That was a potential
It wasn't only a cloud

It saw anger
Frictions
It saw itself compelled
It was life
In the path
Of no path

No somehow
No source
Yet all of this
Felt like a sunflare
That it could travel
ANYWHERE.

The inside
What's that to me
What's that of you to me

The inside of me to me
Are these million thoughts
Nothing mysterious
Something that you can't
Hear or Know

I am this that or the other to me

It's a world in which I exist
What interests you
What is that you want to know
What is that you observe

My conduct
How I tie my shoe laces

See and try and observe or
To understand the
World in which I exist

I look at you for the same reasons
To know your insides
From the actions of your outsides

You would throw me some abstractions
You keep quiet
You like or don't like your insides

You study people
As a mind concept
You try to want you
You want to know it
And I see it
Just as you see it

If I tell you
It's the same

But we want to put questions
To ourselves
To make something come about
To some imaginations of the seeking

Where am I sad
Where am I happy
Where do I rest
Where do I move
Where do I remain same
Where am I in a movement
Where do I go to sleep
Where do I wake up to

Now I don't want to know
What I need to make of me
Things that I am interested in
Remain as it is

Nothing necessary
In all fields
Something that you make
Make of you from an so called inside
To know what's inside of me

I can't explain
This out melting

A moment to spare
All I see are traces

A prayer "I DO"
The conversations are all limited
Except the dance that you insisted

The I amused to wear I
Tightens up

I am
And what can change that
Giving me my very best

"Goodmorning Mr. Raj"
Me on an invisible mode
As my response of that Goodmorning was

I looked in the mirror
The image did seem mad
True upto a point

Would you love the color of the bottle or
What's inside
"Yes a friend would be fine"

Stay in just that long
Linger for some moments more
What could be more serious
A memory or convenient being old

"Goodmorning Mr. Raj, would you light me up"

The truth from truth
An inside from inside

How is a thought
These many many years also thoughts

A force called life
An act of see

A duality that says Hi
With myself or my ideas

When I say I am awake
All multiplies and then follows


Memories and its continuity
My own story in my dream

Deeply deeply out of this
An inside from an inside

Just walking around

Inside of me no boundaries exists. No separation & no union there. If everything outside of me comes from an inside of me, how could the boundaries exist outside too.
Does the coin really have two sides? (Crazy)

I shouldn't have laughed. They cut the ropes of the elevator.
It made me laugh louder. Can't help it.
Anarchy?