Lost in some broken glasses.

Shattered glasses in god's windows
strange frames hanging loose
denying the difference between
the ultimate reality and reality.

The seed in that one cell of self
from which it wants to free itself
looking up for some space
for some air.

Open and read my closed eyes
talk to me about how cold
water touching my skin feels like a flame.

Come paint a life
come fly off a cliff
figments of my imaginations
stopping sometimes to find
a heart
in the shattered glasses
in god's window.

VOID

I searched for a void
looking for a place
where no being is in sight
this has now went on for so
many years

and it never struck me
how
can a void even
exist
how can it?
for the
I
would always be present
in me
who
would be searching for the
void

A Long Day Dream

Night after night
the eyes wait for
the morning to light

OR

May be in vain
I cleave on to pain

May be a
long daydream

May be
the eyes
that see the night
AND
wait for the morning to light

I need
a long caress
a cold shower
to shake away
the darkness from
my eyes

Darkness too
has roots and branches
the eyes love to nest
in them

Night after night
the eyes wait for
the morning to light

I swear by what my I swears

Till you be among them
The fire will keep burning
He told me
to not to go after them.

The man was visibly tired
as he kept explaining me this about them;
he only looked alive
but he spoke like dead.

I asked him:
did you fear
to betray them
or
you?

He cried:
do not do this to men
and
why ask questions of fair play
they would always outnumber
a single you.

He calmed himself down and said:
make peace with the earth and sky
and
think of it as some kind of
arrangement for you
to live and make
it a fair judgement.

I WALKED.

I swear by what my I swears
I will always be my own traveller
and
my own road.

The resting.

have I come to rest
have I seen the resting
no
no, sorry - no

rest may not exist
I move to find evidence

they told me
about rest
and
how to come to rest

how could they have seen rest
or have been at rest
if they tried to teach me
how to rest

for reason
and for knowledge they told me
that there is a state of resting
that I can be whole
and move in eight paths
if I come to resting

have I seen the resting
no
no, sorry - no

A walk a song.

Something that can never be denied
Nor clever or wise words call it foolish
The rejoicing or whatever I may call
Is always felt in the heart.

The walk with me always told me
That no third was ever required
I whispered to me
Tell me my secrets
Sing me my high roads and lights

Trial and Error

Awareness of existence
of the habits
of that I do
and
that I don't
and further
trial and error
helps me build my self
or the mind.

Mind excels
when wit and virtue
develop
and then
the tranquility flows
through all that
I do
and that
I don't.

ALL BECAUSE OF YOU

and when you know

that the number came in existence
because of you

that word came in existence
because of you

and the shadow
and the space that holds
that shadow
all because of you

and the sight
and all about thoughts
even if you miss them
they are
all because of you

craving for existence
is not possible
and yet you make it your goal
an error you make
and an error that brings pain
all because of you

and when you know

The IFS and BUTS.

IFS & BUTS are the lethal weapons to initiate miseries in life. Choose them & you lose then & there.
The truth blasts & destroys all IFS & BUTS, somehow we know this & we use logic to prevent this happening.
Memory plays a major part in strengthening these IFS & BUTS and takes us away far far away from what is.
It’s maddening.
The past then becomes the only place where we feel secured and safe and we use rationality and logic to protect and build that misery.

......

The tears flowed calling the morning
it was the mind who wanted sleep
sleep in the arms of that
would take it to the sunlight

The feathers were waiting
to flutter again
or wither away
the heart anxious
for it's beat and rhythm
a violent storm waiting to unleash.

Shhhhhhhhhhh
not a sound
dead is the promise
no more poison
to hold on to the game
of deceit and sweetness

...............................................

Only AN Idea

Awareness brings in transcription
The attention then becomes the life ;
Who can then be a recluse
For a recluse too wants to create
an identity of it's illogical way of being.

The totality of thoughts move around all the time
Knowledge is never absent at any given time
And yet
Never the belief of awareness being there of
that totality is true.

Do I always remember what happened
as it happened
or the way I wanted it to happen
The totality of knowledge in me
then is
not true
or as it happened
but built on what I wanted it to be
hence this cannot be true.

All that you create
is an idea
either
life is joy
or
life is suffering ;
only
an
idea.
Always
waiting
for
an
idea
and
never
for
what
is
there.

The Story

Winds blew hard across my face
who goes there
where did it come
from
and how when I connect
I call the story of my life

Eyes struggle to stay open
they want to see the face of the winds
they want to play a part too
in what
I call the story of my life

"You cannot see " I tell my eyes
"you have no way
to know"
an anxiety builds up in mind
and it stands on a point that
what if it never happened
what I call
the story of my life

In how many ways the hard winds
give comfort
will be never discussed
in what I call
the story of my life

no avenues of reality

far far AWAY from the reality of what is
a relishing emotion
makes me experience emotions
changing me to a
fearful identity

The identity now
far far away from what "Iam" actually am
either it is the reason of conquest
that puts me in this strange position
may be something pushes me in to this war
may be winning gives a new high

Seed sown somewhere to separate first
then spend a lifetime to
connect with consciousness around ;
ideas thoughts and feelings
get importance building a neuron net
in the mirror of memory
the seed grows to "I" ness

the thought process then questions this "I"ness
rage happens
fear grips
seeing and remembering always in conflict
tearing away the peace
and bringing conflicts on daily basis

will acceptance helps
NO
does thought ever matter
NO

why was thought made so real?
who gave it a permission to loose time and space?

this is not an evolutionary life.

period

movement

I look for movement
and see it come to a stand still
my stillness invokes a movement
shreds me apart
what is lost is what can't been seen
and is something gained
NO
nothing gained
is all that is seen.

DUST TO DUST

You search home
and you get dust
only DUST
you won't know that truth
you would be dead BY then.

Life can never be suspended.
Living can
and when
only when
you can think yourself to be suspended.

When you think
you get
what you think
your suspension
and then your search for
your pretensions.

Did I see the truth?
Or was it truth that saw me
saw in ME while I was trying to deceive it
the way I deceived the ME.

You cannot search it
you cannot see it
you cannot say you were on a journey
if you say that
you only think that
but if
the truth sees you
you know
its compassion can kill you.

ILLUSIONS

Illusions create profound knowledge
they play fair and play hard
they bring in pleasures
they bring in pain
try to prove the senses
all their life
that pain is and was
existentially connected
to pleasure.
Illusions connect
me and you to all
such pains and THEIR pleasures.

FREE

Looking at intelligence and then being modest
contradicting in a logical way perhaps.
How can we imagine modesty if not through intelligence?
I fear about drowning before I enter the waters
trying to catch the contradiction
when I hold on to all my fears.
My senses mock me
further disturb me
they speak of some millions of years of intelligence
that has set them FREE.