The Story Of A Nerve.

I had a nerve,
The nerve activated
the self preservation
mechanism.

The nerve was destructive too,
Suicidal and crazy.

'Why me?' thinking to
the nerve, which knew
nothing of feelings, I tried asking.
I then stopped wanting to know.
Though, I had to keep trusting it,
the nerve was fatal and
I was on a theory.

I hid myself; it made me, or it did not.
I tried numbing the pain,
Either the nerve made everything a nothing, or everything that was there for me.
A complete me, or just a mess called me.

The nerve tried saving me, it did.

Out of A Mind.

“Are you out of your mind?“
I was asked and I replied “yes I am, yes I am, and I thank God.“
I went on to add further “that the comforter of inner voice is no longer in control. The solutions flowing from within cease. The equations and solutions are all outside. The problems would either be solved or would 
teach.“

What on earth am I talking about?
Necessity to know how stubborn I was to learn, how stubborn I was to keep sleeping. 
The question thus are you out of your mind was a wake up call?
Obviously it's all about being a human, being out of - A Mind.

DREAM

I am a hallucination and guess I would be around a few more years.
Deaf, are you deaf? You aren't sleeping, you are as awake as this night.
You there are too with me, you are clearer than me, but I confess I am a hallucination, and you, you though clearer than me, you do not acknowledge me.
You want to reason me, eat some sugar, thinking I am talking of low blood in your sugar. Okay, prove me I am wrong, go eat your sugar, it's not your fault.
I told you last time that even I have a home, and I did not self-invite me, you invited me, you told me I wasn't your past, I wasn't your shadow, you went about telling me how real I was and that you were in significant loses and you needed me for your visions.
I was actually kidnapped by you, and now when I tell you about me again, you threaten me with pills of placebos.
You would be fine in some years, I know you would be called a winner and enlightened when you walk out of my darkness, probably put up an act where you can lead others out of their darkness.
You want me to kill you to pieces
You want me to kill myself to pieces
You want me to make you insane,
You want me to go insane,
You want me to reveal myself,
You want me to make you real,
You want me to lie to you,
You want me to believe in caring,
You want me to understand sacrifice,
You want me to be miserable for nothing,
You want me to call you coward,
You want me to call myself a coward,
You want me to be a Buddha,
You want me to make you a Buddha,
YOU CLING TO ME,
I AM A HALLUCINATION
So deal with it.

How Can I?

Can I protect myself with hate?

No.

Can I protect myself with violence?

No.

Can I protect myself with power?

No.

Can I protect myself with faith?

No.

Can I protect myself with love?

No.

Can I protect myself with knowledge?

No.

Can I protect myself with this "I"?

No.